Previous Page: Forgiveness

As I complete this outline of a process for Christian reconciliation, I hope I have given you a sense of hope. Conflicts, even the kind that end in divorce, can be resolved. God is great enough to bring reconciliation between people who once hated each other so much they would rather not be around them anymore. People can take these principles, apply them with confidence in Christ, and experience genuine reconciliation. But sometimes we need a coach.

Engage in preventive medicine

If I would say two things to everyone it would be this:

First, keep on top of conflict. Scripture says we should not let the sun go down on or anger. That means that we should strive to end every day at peace with our friends and family. Unaddressed conflicts fester and grow foul. The principles I have outlined can be practiced every day in very simple ways. They can form a spiritual discipline in your lives.

Get help from a skilled mediator

Second, I would advise you to get help sooner rather than later. If a conflict has persisted and you cannot resolve it, get help. If you have tried to reconcile on your own, but have not been able to do so, get help.

It is hard to ask for help. It is hard to admit you cannot fix it on your own. Most people wait until the house is burning down to ask for assistance. Get help early.

And don’t just get any kind of help. Get help from someone who will walk you through a process to help you trust God, assess your behavior, admit your wrong, and forgive the other person when they ask for forgiveness. You can use the contact form at the bottom of the page to reach out to me.

If the conflict is extraordinary, violent, criminal

Do not try to reconcile with an abuser or slanderer. Do not feel guilty when you do. They will make you feel guilty. They will insist they want to be at peace. More than that they will say you are the problem.

Get counsel from people who know how to help you. There are solid online resources that point you to abuse counselors.